Things happen for a reason

It's cliche but I know it's true. Sometimes I wonder about a lot of things when I'm unable to get myself to sleep, which I blame the internet connection at most times and late night convos. You know, sometimes after a hectic day you end up gazing through could'ves and would'ves which expand through your head and make you start questioning heaps of things. Why this, why that bla bla bla... But as I learn, things really do happen for certain reasons. Theres always the first line that starts the sketch. Maybe you wonder "Why did I have to meet this person?" and times when you'd say "Why is this happening to me?" or "Why am I here?" or "Can't time tick slower/faster!" and all those big question marks and exclamations. It depends on how we define and face things in different situations. You can't get everything you want but if it is yours to be, then it'll eventually come to you in it's own way, yours to have.
At this point, I'm defining my own situation. Thinking things over and working through why the heck this is happening. Maybe what's happening now is the result of my weakness towards saying "no". Maybe the "nggak enak" feeling that hits me all the time, always gets me ending up confused and tangled in my own tied up threads. Things don't happen just by a finger click and voila! There's a reason why I'm going over this, again and again. And for this case, it's me. My unability. Perhaps incapability of doing so. And I hate it cos I still have a hard time fighting it. Turns out, it acts as a boomerang towards you, towards me...