Hey hooo-li-days

A month off from uni has actually been really awesome! Enjoying things a lot spending it with the ones I love full time. It's really been about catching up. Quality time with the best company - family, close friends, high school besties at comfy places, talking about life till late hours almost every night, laughing about almost everything. When I'm not out I'll be baby sitting the lil kiddos and teaching them this and that :)

I Learnt a lot of things, experienced new stuff. I even got to meet Vrischa - like after 10 years we havn't met! It was really good seeing her again :)

Despite the wonderful holidays, I really wanna get back to Jatinangor. I miss my friends there a lot. I miss my dorm. I actually miss campus and class. And I miss one other thing as well. Can't wait to get back to uni asap but the other half of my head wants a longer holiday. Another week left. I dunno wether I want it to end or not. Even if there is a reason why I do.

We should close our eyes and ask ourselves

"Even if you feel like you’re not getting anywhere,
Always keep your head up high!
It’s a genesis, we’re in a genesis..."

You should've closed your eyes to what you thought you were seeing. Running on the spot with burden on these shoulders. Trying to act okay thought it doesn't really help neither of us.

Things happen for a reason

It's cliche but I know it's true. Sometimes I wonder about a lot of things when I'm unable to get myself to sleep, which I blame the internet connection at most times and late night convos. You know, sometimes after a hectic day you end up gazing through could'ves and would'ves which expand through your head and make you start questioning heaps of things. Why this, why that bla bla bla... But as I learn, things really do happen for certain reasons. Theres always the first line that starts the sketch. Maybe you wonder "Why did I have to meet this person?" and times when you'd say "Why is this happening to me?" or "Why am I here?" or "Can't time tick slower/faster!" and all those big question marks and exclamations. It depends on how we define and face things in different situations. You can't get everything you want but if it is yours to be, then it'll eventually come to you in it's own way, yours to have.
At this point, I'm defining my own situation. Thinking things over and working through why the heck this is happening. Maybe what's happening now is the result of my weakness towards saying "no". Maybe the "nggak enak" feeling that hits me all the time, always gets me ending up confused and tangled in my own tied up threads. Things don't happen just by a finger click and voila! There's a reason why I'm going over this, again and again. And for this case, it's me. My unability. Perhaps incapability of doing so. And I hate it cos I still have a hard time fighting it. Turns out, it acts as a boomerang towards you, towards me...

Books that caught my eye

Strolling down some aisles, I came across a few interesting books to put on my list of got-to-gets/got-to-read:

●The Zahir - Paulo Coelho
●Dewey - The small town library cat who touched the world
●The Greatest Philosophers
●Where Did noah Park the Ark
●The Travel Book - A journey through every country in the world
●In our time - Hywell Williams

Dreaming away

Anyone know anybody who can define dreams? I've been having the same dream of the same person for the last three days. This hasn't happened once. A while ago, it was the same person but four days straight also. Weird enough for me. Now all that's left of it is curiosity. Why? One word. Unexpectable.

He keeps popping in my not-so-real world as the nicest guy on earth with the most generous heart. Though we actually do know each other in real life, hellos when we pass, few times talked, one or two things happened, seen in the virtual world, but it gets way different in those dreams. It's ain't a big deal really, but what's with the continuity and dreamline? Ergh, god knows. What I know, it's got me smiling everytime I get up :|

A superimposed letter to God

Dear God,
Wassup? I've been wanting to write to you for a long time and now here I am without a paper and a pen - just my heart, head and the keyboard. I've got so much things to say, so many pleads to ask for and heaps of questions why. I know I'm supposed to meet you five times everyday of my life. But all I can say is sorry, at most times I still don't. I realize that what I get is based on what you give but I still skip those days without any mumbles of thanking you.

To be honest, I'm not the kind who fulfills the everyday routines though I do try my best to. Mum and Dad had always taught me things about you eversince the first use of my five senses. I grew with you guiding me eventhough I forgot about you at a lot of times and points in life. Usually when I'm at the lowest point in life, I'd come running to you in tears. But I feel ashame that whenever things are going all okay, I tend to forget - even sometimes pretend you're not there. If we were to be described as the friend to friend type, then surely... I am the worst friend you could ever have. But in this case, I'm not a perfect being. I've got more designs and angel scribbles on my left rather than my right.
Surely you'd know there are many things that if I could ask for, I would. But I live in reality - not that place where you end up when you fall asleep and don't want to wake up because it's just too good to realize it's not true. My simplest plead would be for you to love, care, guide, protect the people among me who I love the most and bless them a healthy, wealthy and wise life. Without mentioning, you would know who I mean. Family, friends, relatives, the whole lot. Make them happy in any way you can. At least that's what I'd want for them, dear God.

Ehm. Question. Wait. I have stacks of them. Why? What if? How? Would you? Could you? And thousands more along with the fill in the blanks. Sometimes I even go way over the limit and question your presence because sometimes my common sense doesn't make sense at all. I know it's wrong and again all I might be able to express is an apology. Again. Sigh.
Not enough thanks in the world to thank you. You've made it clear. I'm working on things now. Hopefully.
God, thanks for making things happen. I'll learn from it eventually.

Love these people!

No words can express how grateful I am to have you guys.
Dhea Amanda Rustam, Christiana Arizon, Kharisma Tri Andini, Tentry Yudvi Dian Utami, Aditya Sasmita, Yan Wahyudi :) Best laughter and company! Good times and bad. Thank you waaaay too much <3